The stallion stepped forward, the breeze rippling the beard on his neck. He flapped his wings and made a dramatic leap off of the cliff. After what felt like ages, he landed safely on the ground below. His heart pounded. "Looks like I've cleared the biggest danger." He assured himself. It's hard to say whether or not he knew that the cliff he jumped was 7 inches high, but at least he felt good about himself. It's also hard to say whether or not he knew that he had just entered the Everfree forest, but at least he wasn't afraid. He walked forward with confidence into the woods.
"Nopony can stand in the way of the mighty Spaghetti Neckbeard! Stand back, evildoers, here I come!" He galloped forward boldly for about a minute before stopping to catch his breath. "Where's my LARP club? We were supposed to meet up today. I brought my cape and everything!"
He trotted along for while longer before stopping to realize that he wasn't in Ponyville anymore.
"Hello? A-anypony there? AnYPony? Where am I?" He looked around nervously. He backed up and his hoof knocked right into a cockatrice. The beast hissed, and Neckbeard turned around to face her. "O-oh, hey there, uh..." The cockatrice began to give him the usual vicious stare, and Neckbeard looked into her eyes. "Uh, Ho-how ya doin'? "I j-just wanted to get to my LARP club... We were gonna role play our OCs..." Blood trickled down his nose and into his crumby beard. The she-beast cringed. It was so awkward holding eye contact with him, and she began to feel severely uncomfortable. The stallion continued to stutter. "Sorry, I'm not really good around women..." The cockatrice recoiled and flapped away pathetically into the woods. The stone casing broke off of his legs, and he was free to go.
After bumping into 3 screaming fillies and a yellow pegasus, he made it back to Ponyville and was greeted by his LARP club, The Super Pasta Squad!
"Hey Linguine, hello Fettuccine!" 2 acne-plagued stallions waved their hooves in return. Linguine Redbull, a garishly bright orange earth pony, came up and gave Neckbeard a glomp. Fettuccine Dorito, who was a rather unfortunate shade of green, hovered nearby.
"So, does everypony have their cosplays?" said Linguine with a lisp. The group gave an affirmative nod, and they all pulled out various capes and masks. They suited up awkwardly, as some of the garments were a hint too small. After they had on their gear, they stood around for a bit, making eye contact for just a little too long.
"So, let's begin!"
They frolicked around Ponyville square, shooting pretend lasers at each other, poppin' some tags, only got 20 bits in their pockets.
All of a sudden, the town crier ran through Ponyville, shouting.
"DANGER IN APPALOOSA! THEY'RE BEING CHOKED OUT BY AN AWFUL VILLAIN! SOMEPONY HELP!"
"Where are those 6 ponies that always save us?" asked Fettuccine.
"They're busy filming some TV show!" replied Linguine.
The 3 stallions glanced at each other with a look of realization on their faces. Instantly, they galloped at top speed towards Appaloosa. Of course, they weren't very athletically oriented, so it took a while to get there. This rather impeded on the heroic entry they were planning to make, but they did eventually get there.
When they got there, they were greeted by an awful sight. All the buildings were covered in an odd, orange powder. Was it... Cheetos? A large, cheetah print craft hovered a bit above the ground, periodically releasing huge sprays of orange dust. Townsponies below were either hiding and coughing, or licking everything in sight. Either way, it was mayhem. The three ponies stared up at the machine with a mix a horror and wonder.
"Hey, wasn't that from a manga we wrote?"
"It's so cool!"
"Focus, men! We've got to defeat it somehow!"
"We could try the ultimate Pasta move..."
"It's too dangerous!"
"It's the only way!"
Our three heroes gathered in a triangular-ish formation, preparing to attack. At that moment, Celestia and Luna descended on the other side of the machine, their horns at the ready. The princesses prepared a powerful spell.
The 3 cosplayers were ready. They charged at the device with a (perhaps over-enthusiastic) war-cry.
The Super Pasta Squad hit the machine with the feeble force of their bodies. At the same time, the sisters released a cannon of magic at the cockpit, utterly obliterating it.
The team stepped back, and looked at the destroyed foe they thought they had brought down. They gave each other hoofbumps and glomps at their supposed success. The sisters landed, and were cheered by the humble citizens.
"Look, Neckbeard, the Princesses themselves came to thank us!"
The two sisters smiled at their cheerful subjects, and kindly accepted the gifts of apple pies being handed to them in bushels.
Our heroic team sauntered towards the crowd of cheering ponies and princesses, basking in the glory. Celestia and Luna caught notice of them, and stared down at the unfortunate looking stallions with pity. "I think there's a spell that can help those three." whispered Celestia to her sister. "No, I've seen worse looking colts." said Luna. They cringed as Fettuccine drooled at them. "Something tells me that bloody nose isn't from the fight." said Tia, and the sisters flew off with haste.
The Pasta Squad marched away happily. Suddenly, Spaghetti Neckbeard caught a glimpse of green polka dotted fur from behind a saloon door. Curious, he went over to investigate.
"Hello? Anypony there?"
Suddenly, a polka-dotted, mustachioed alicorn mare appeared!
~To be continued